KAMPFF WEEK SEVEN

[al2955]

the pygmalion. . . ONLINE LOGGING YOU IN . . . KAMPFF week seven Once you manage to get into your room, you'll notice that AL-2955 is waiting for you. She appears in the corner from her statue. She implores you to head towards the chapel, where three others await you. kampff rulebook taken info cards

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[qundercover]

[Does anyone actually want to even talk about whatever the FUCK that was. Is Jack even here to bleed everywhere. How mad is Grell. Does someone have a stick they can hit Bull with.]

. . . Guess we found out what was murdering the folks in stasis.

[refactor]

[ Jack is here, definitely looking like shit, and definitely probably constantly on the verge of passing out, but, you know. He's here. And of course, it being Jack, he still won't shut up. ]

Yeah, no friggin' kidding. Gold stars for- For us, I guess.

[ He shifts in his seat with a grunt to sit up a little better, but then gives a half nod to Bull. ]

Uh, by the way- Assuming the reason I'm not super dead right now is 'cause one of you saved my ass. So, uh. Thanks.

[qundercover]

Yeah, you're only about half dead from the look of it.

[ DUDE YOU LOOK FUCKIN REKT ]

Anyway, don't worry about it. If you're going to do it again, remember I don't make a habit of working for free - even the Inquisition pays me, and that's for trying to save the world.

[refactor]

[ Jack actually grins at Bull's comment, breathing out a pretty tired laugh to go with it, but he definitely looks pretty pleased with himself anyways. ]

Hah— Not the first time, but man, gotta admit, super sucks every time, cupcake. But, hey, if I was gonna go, that was definitely pretty much how I'd want to.

[ It fits pretty perfectly with his perception of himself, his own little narrative for his life, but that much he leaves unsaid. Though this is mostly because talking is just a little more strenuous when you have a gash across your chest. ]

But, yeah, noted. Would be glad to toss some dollars your way if I, uh, could. A sweet half a mil? I dunno. Until then, hope you take pancakes as an IOU.

[qundercover]

Been there before myself.

[ Bull doesn't know what a dollar is, but it doesn't sound like it can buy many cool Dragon Lady paintings in Orlais.]

Pancakes are fine. You do the kind with the chocolate in them?

[refactor]

Do I—

[ He breathes out a sound that could be a laugh, but it's a bit hard to tell. ]

Hell yeah I make the ones with chocolate in them. Those are the best kind?

[erythristic]

[guess who's coming in fashionably late because she's sure as hell not letting vent demons be enough of an excuse to not come in looking put together and elegant.

guess who's also furious, now that she's managed to restrain her sorrow for the time being? that trial was an absolute disaster, and if Rhys hadn't turned out to be an abomination, how they would have kept the rest of them from turning on Jack? it should be radiating off her when she walks in, though to her credit the glare in her eyes softens when she sees how torn up Jack really is.]

How about we don't do that again and save ourselves the hassle of it?

[are they even safe right now? is that thing going to drop in and assault them at a moment's notice?]

[refactor]

[ Jack gives her a weary smile when she walks in, since of the two of them, he did figure that Grell was going to be pretty pissed. Which, granted, they both had plenty of reason to be, so he wasn't actually going to fault them that, for once. But compared to Bull, Grell is definitely the one more option with emotions. He's actually prepared for her to lay into him, but when he sees how her glare softens, he ends up looking away. As it turns out, that's far more uncomfortable for him than getting yelled at. ]

Uh. Yeah. Doooon't worry sweetheart, I'm definitely not keen on a repeat. Promise.

[erythristic]

I'd hope so. You only have one hand remaining, after all.

[can you be truly angry at a man when he's already obviously suffering for what's happened?]

...Not to mention, it'd be a nuisance if you died.

[does that sound halfway like caring about his survival? she's too exhausted to mind if it does.]

[refactor]

[ He laughs lightly, if weakly, but it's followed by a dismissive pfft sound. ]

Yeah, gotta keep at least one. I- I mean, gotta— [ He starts to laugh more, but seems to realize that the joke he's about to make may not go over well. Which is sad, because dammit who doesn't love a super hilarious masturbation joke? But probably her. Probably anyone here, since even Jack can recognize that it's probably not the time for jokes.

He sits back as comfortably as he can manage, and he nods. ]

But, yeah, probably stressed you two out, so, uh. My bad on that one.

[al2955]

[ Alice's voice echoes through the chapel. She sounds a bit pressed. ]

Hello, my Kampff. I have a proposition for you.

As you are no doubt aware, there are some invaders on the ship. I did not authorize this. As such, I cannot predict how many exist — whatever they are, they elude my sensors on every front. That is why I have a mission for you. If you are able to pinpoint and annihilate one of these intruders, you will not be punished, even if you receive the popular vote within a trial for it. Along with this, if you are successful in subduing them, you will receive your incentive, no questions asked.

Please understand that I have little to do with this. I find myself.. unable to comprehend what to do other than this. I was not programmed to know. So I will have to figure this out on my own.

[refactor]

[ It absolutely looks like it might as well be Christmas for how Jack reacts. His face lights up with nothing short of a bloodthirsty glee, and he starts to laugh— Before he realizes that hurts a whole fucking lot and stops. It takes him a second to recover, since stretching out that chest wound is not exactly the best feeling, but even so, he's still grinning from ear to ear. ]

No shit? Alice— Oh, man, Al, I could kiss you right now.

[ It's so hard not to laugh... This simply isn't in Jack's nature to not laugh at this. You would think he would be more hesitant after getting pretty badly fucked up the first (and second) try, but nope, apparently not... ]

You want some invaders dead? I am absolutely your guy for that, sweetheart. But, c'mon, at least throw me a bone for Rhysie.

[al2955]

I appreciate your enthusiasm, Jack. While I cannot reward you within the confines of the game with revealing the intruder inside of Rhys, as it did not technically constitute as a conspiracy kill, I can certainly throw you a bone.

[A robot comes in and hurls a dildo at Jack's head.]

[refactor]

[ Jack looks genuinely thrilled here for a second, since he's totally expecting an actual reward, but. No. No, of course not. Jack's expression is quick to flatten as soon as he sees what's in the robot's hand, but no, it gets worse as it's thrown at him. He makes a sound of frustration, and lifts his hand to try and smack it away, but as if I'll let Jack accomplish that. So it totally just smacks him in the face.

And so there's a moment where he just looks at the dildo, then back up to Alice. He's not tired enough to be beyond anger, since that's pretty much impossible for him, but. He's pretty damn close. ]

Are you serious? Al-- Alice, what the hell, I'm helpin' you out here.

[al2955]

I apologize, Jack, I had calculated that you would derive amusement from the joke. I am an artificial intelligence, after all - as our time together has grown, I have begun picking up humor algorithms from those on this ship, including your own. I shall endeavor to do better in the future.

[qundercover]

You mean randomly guess who to kill, then? Because they don't even know themselves. That's the fucking issue, isn't it? Elizabeth had no idea she was a demon until it took her over and got two people killed. [ Three, if you count Frank. ] Can we at least get shit - tools, equipment - to help? You don't go fighting demons without the right weapons.

[erythristic]

That's the biggest issue we're facing. We have no way to know which of us are those creatures.

[Jack, she's pretty certain is still human - they cut him, and he bled like anyone else instead of changing, the creatures would have known their own. and given Bull's reaction, she wants to believe he's fine as well.]

[al2955]

Unfortunately, I know as little about these creatures as you do. Had I the capacity or tools to detect them, I would certainly offer them to you. I am no happier about these invaders on our ship than anyone else.

However, I will say that I believe none of those in this room suffer an infection. Due to your roles, I have been monitoring your movements closer than most, and none of you have shown any signs of suspicious activity.