al2955 | world blurbs 2.0

EARTH (COLU5429205)

Looks like this Elizabeth Comstock was more important than we thought. Turns out she was the daughter of some founder in a floating city. Tried to escape and was brought back by a giant metal bird. Seems to have went through heavy amounts of psychological and physical torture to hone those delicious reality-based powers of hers. Poor girl followed in her daddy's footsteps and lead Columbia into developing a fleet of armed zeppelins far more technologically advanced than the rest of the world. Turns out, her father's prophecy was to scorch the planet with fire. Elizabeth sparked that flame by leading a war across the world and leaving only the floating city of Columbia in tact. Gotta love her ambition.

EARTH (TACK4523)

Someone got too clever for his own good. An inventor by the name of Tim Jones invented the panacea that'd solve all electrical problems for the whole Earth: a clean energy source, infallible and cheap. Unfortunately, it had the regrettable side-effects of spitting out devil bears and causing the Apocalypse. Psh. Amateur.

EARTH (ISHA1469)
These poor bastards hated God so much that they tried to create their own, and look where it got them. Created a giant Frankenstein of a monster that ate an entire country, took a nap for a few months, then ate the rest of the world after. Some guy in a red jacket tried to stop it, but it just ate him too.

ELDAR (LEMU5555)

Not exactly the ideal place for a vacation or, hell, a place to live in. Plenty of space elves wandering around here and these folks somehow made it work, even if their sun was about to blow in ... what? The next two centuries or so?

Too bad that didn't matter in the end because some aliens from another dimension came and made the sun go nuclear so their planet went kaput. Sometimes even your best effort isn't good enough and everything goes to shit anyway. Sucks to suck.

EARTH (BAMA16402)
As if all the other monsters weren't enough of a challenge for this planet's population... It got even worse after the ageless eldritch abominations started clawing their way out from their hiding places. Gotta say, would not have placed my bets on that happening so suddenly. Turns out most people there were pretty taken off guard by it, too. Yikes.

??? (KANTO1519242)
Remember that giant ocean bird with massive hands? Turns out it doesn’t always make it. The ugly thing crashed and burned, taking down the chosen one and some musician girl with it. Ouch. Turns out this leaves a group of islands trapped in perpetual storms that eventually travel outward, waking up every other terrifying elemental monster as they go. Eventually, everyone is drowning or being rained on to death. One particularly loud citizen keeps complaining about how wet the water is instead of dealing with it. Not even the fish are great at handling it, but reports show “Magikarp” thrive in these new conditions.

EARTH (FALL199704)
This Earth was doing just fine until October 2077, when every nation decided to fire fucking nuclear warheads at each other in an apocalyptic dick waving contest. Two hundred years later and it's still a shit show full of radiated mutant creatures. Luckily an alturistic organization of scientists have recently emerged, and plan to wipe out the degenerate filth that plague the land. They even have help thanks to highly advanced androids - Synths - that they manufactured to be their servants. Only by purging this world, can they hope to built it anew. Utopia has its cost after all.

??? (ZEMU20100930)

Hoo boy, show of hands everyone. Where have we heard this one: some random asshole decides it’s a good idea to raise the ruins of a lost civilization and stick his dick in the all-powerful ancient artifact powering it.

That pretty much caused all the energy in the world to go kaput and all hell to break loose. Didn’t take long for those world superpowers to whip out the dangerous toys they had stowed away in case everything went to shit. In the end, they just destroyed themselves. What a waste. At least we managed to retrieve the girl.

??? (THEDAS94120934)
You wouldn’t think one guy and a magic ball could do that much damage, but I’ve been wrong before. Should maybe reconsider replicating the Fade. Before you pester me with this shit again: yes, all the damn dragons are gone too.

EARTH (LOND193280)
Apparently, the Bible got it wrong, but is ANYONE surprised? Take an insane Victorian clown (Is that too redundant? "Insane," "Victorian" and "clown" basically mean the same thing, right?) who is the patriarch of some Biblical family, let him get his hands on the greatest power in the world (Get this: it's called Innocence. Yeah.), and nothing good happens. Nothing bad happens after that either because there's just nothing left. Nothing. Turns out that's not what the clown wanted. Go figure.

EARTH (JAPA666666)
Remember those broadcasts about the Invitational? Where the dark horse team made it to the finals only to get wasted by some intergalactic high school team? Turns out that by 'wasted,' it meant the losers didn't even survive the match, and the resulting riots by fans of both teams left the planet basically uninhabitable. ...Hey, maybe in this case there was crying in baseball.